Rants & Mental Health Blog

I might write blog posts about Trump in the news, but I never voted for him in the 2016 or 2020 elections.  I voted Green Party in 2016 and Bernie Sanders in 2020 presidential election and likely vote Green Party this year as well.  I like to recycle and compost. Why vote for a guy who can't even put his dick in his pants?  He's always servicing a woman he cheated on his first wife with second wife he cheated on Melania Trump with a porn star Even the jury convicted him for humping porn star and paying her off afterwards.  He saw porn star and got rock hard.  He even said "grab [...] by pussy".  A pussy grabbing President. I mostly saw ads where Kamala is asking for donations.  For Donald Trump, I mostly saw ads where Richard Nixon supporting Trump, Trump is attacking Kamala Harris, or Trump asking for donations (once or twice). 

Mentally ill folks tended to gravitate to me for some reason because Tim was an extremely insecure, uptight Christian prude and Judy - a former friend who lived across from my mom - was depressed and anxious.  Judy was so anxious, she waited a whole year to tell me I didn't say thank you for a concert.  If she continued letting things stew and not tell me, I was worried she'll make a habit of it.  Judy and I ended up arguing a whole ton, and she was bed-riddeen in an assisted living facility.  Tim ended up dead. Bad track record. Judy used to attend church and sing in choir.  I didn't really have the skills to teach Tim - an adult - how to be an adult.

 I was being anxious lately.  I had work yesterday, so I was anxious that my phone would die, and I be stranded miles from home without a ride.  I needed my phone to request uber / lyft or use the bus pass on the app.  I decided to charge my phone to relieve my anxiety. The crowds made me anxious (it was noticeable but not overhelming), but I didn't feel anxious during crowds at the end of the night unlocking pouches. I was halluncinating this morning.  I halluncinated cars were fixing my AC vent and freezer bus with gas pedal problem Target door that kept causing problems

 I told my psychiatrist that hydroxyzine made me itch during the day.  She recommended lotion for the itching and commentated that hydroxyzine normally helps with itching.  She said my messy hair was improved.

 I had been halluncinating October 15 and 16, 2024.  I had been getting the Tesla cars to help carry furniture (mostly chairs and sofas) out of my eye clinic while I was getting transition lens. I had a therapist video visit October 17, 2024.  I mentioned to my therapist that Totodile was not scary because Totodile is a toddler (his name had toddler in it) Totodile described as jolly and energetic Totodile always dancing on twitter, you can see Totodile dancing in a fountain Totodile is cute My neighbor called me trashy and a liar, and I told my therapist I was worried he's gonna accuse me of a crime because of what he called me.  He already called my roommate demented because she's always banging on the walls all day, all night and wanted to get the FBI involved if she continued to be rude.  That was a bit much calling FBI.

i thought I lost my keys when I really didn't and got spare keys for no reason. That anxiety triggered halluncinations - I hallucinated cars helping me open lid to prescription bottle and checking on bus that got into accident.

  I had a therapist video visit.  I was telling my therapist I couldn't find Totodile plush I told him about my neighbor, Phillip Tim was treated like a baby, and I wanted to treat him like an adult which he was (he was 59 years old, so he was an adult) I found rich people glamorous. which my therapist agreed.  I pointed out paystubs for concessions was minimum wage despite me making $100 an event.  I was halluncinating today because there was a leak by my AC vent.  The cars were fixing the leak and waiting on maintenance man to come.

 July hallucinations: 14 days August halluncinations: 12 days September halluncinations: 11 days