Rants & Mental Health Blog

 I hallucinate cars.  I shared with my psychiatrist some things because I didn't know how much she understood about my hallucinations / weren't documented by my therapist (MARK MARQUEZ)  Cars and buses tended to be bored. I don't normally hallucinate talking to trains unless I'm talking to a car already most of the vehicles that I hallucinate talking to are ones I have seen black Tesla parked outside Fedex store frequently white Tesla I rode in whose driver was making money on uber / Lyft my mom's Honda my mom's old Camry (in a junkyard) garbage truck / recycling truck I seen on its route in my apartment complex tan truck I seen driving by on street my psychiatrist didn’t think teens were morning folks.  10 am waking up sounds reasonable to her

 Trump is surrounded by yes men.  If someone criticize him or persecute him, they get fired. An ad on a wildlife rescue video was for rubber gun (it look like real gun).  I wasn't planning on shooting wildlife with guns / even fake ones.   I may have insulted Zelda (my old roommate's cat), pushed her so she would get up and move somewhere else, but I refused to spray Zelda with a spray bottle. 

 i had therapist yesterday.  he found me naive but not as naive as tim.

I did mention Biden pardoning Trump which I heard Trump talking about. I voted Green Party just so you know. Trump is a racist - he was ending the diversity in federal government; he was ending birthright citizenship for children of illegals.  He wants to buy Canada and Greenland (both have caucasian majority) and call Gulf of Mexico "Gulf of America".  Someone correct me if I'm wrong about the majority of the population in those countries. Hopefully, Trump ends the Ukraine war because I'm reading Ukraine has about 6 to 12 months of manpower left.  What happens if the war doesn't end?  What are the odds Russia annex Belarus?  I felt like Belarus and Russia were hot and cold; Belarus tried to stand up to Russia by closing the border but failed (Russian staged invasion from Belarus).  If Russia tries to annex Belarus, I hope Belarusian president follows through on the promise of war.  It's already WW3 - Ukraine is using US ammunition; North Korea is figh...

 Why do I feel like I have schizoaffective disorder and a personality disorder - either narcissistic or borderline personality disorder?  I been trying to tell psychiatrist of my depression but I don't know if she's not listening or what.  I slept days in bed in September 2024; I was exhausted 2009 school year and 2013 school year.  I couldn't get up for classes at 8:45 in high school or 8 am in college.  I'm not cold hearted like your narcissistic people. I refused to spray Zelda (a cat) with spray bottle; I had to pee but wanted her to cuddle.  I may have insulted her (called her defective) but she liked chewing plastic.

 I use social media but not tik tok.  The temporarily ban doesn’t affect me too much.  I post on social media about Pokemon (a kids franchise) and get ads for diapers and toy blasters (toy guns).  i’m an adult woman who has no kids.  I’m obsessed with a Pokemon character - Totodile (I mentioned on social media; my pinned tweet on x is Ash’s Totodile).  I am the wrong gender for toy blasters (I thought blasters were for boys).  Some people can argue Pokemon target boys (it’s a kids franchise after all) but since Pokemon been in the world for 28 to 29 years, it had adult fans too and appealed to ladies.